A minimally invasive sterilization surgery assured the independent traveler that her future was in her own hands
Growing up Jess constantly heard other girls talking about how much they wanted to be mothers when they became older. She never had that desire and wondered if there was something wrong with her, not understanding why she wouldn’t want what everyone else seemed to.
Jess grew up moving every few years due to her father’s position in the Navy. This became a big part of who she is today, still traveling and living in different locations across the globe. Just over two years ago she found herself in Denver, going back to school to become a physician assistant.
Unmarried and without children, Jess focused on providing for herself. Still young and working on building a new career, she realized how difficult it was to financially support one person and knew it would be even harder to support a child. She also recognized her love of traveling was far from waning and a family could bring her wayfaring to an end.
Jess began to consider how her mental health struggles would worsen with the lack of sleep and self-care many parents experience when having a baby. She also feared passing those struggles down to a child. These fears only reaffirmed her wish to not have children.
“I just didn’t feel like I would make a good parent,” says Jess. “And I’m not afraid to admit that!”
Then came the overturning of Roe v. Wade, meaning there is no longer a constitutional right to abortion and ending standards of access to abortion. This weighed heavy on Jess’ heart. She had always wanted to be sterilized to avoid unwanted pregnancy, but being young and without children, she was scared she wouldn’t be allowed to undergo the procedure. Being concerned the government may change sterilization laws in the future, she quickly got in touch with CU Medicine OB-GYN East Denver to discuss her options.
Dr. Allison Herman suggests a bilateral salpingectomy
Jess had expected to encounter pushback on her request for sterilization. She had heard horror stories from other women who had requested this procedure and had to jump through hoops to convince their doctor to perform it or were simply denied the option. But Dr. Allison Herman met Jess with an open mind.
“Right away Dr. Herman was so accepting,” says Jess. “She didn’t make it difficult on me.”
Jess had come to the appointment with a binder full of reasons why she was sure she didn’t want children, prepared to fight for her right to be sterilized. Dr. Herman respectfully listened to her, understanding that Jess truly did not want to be a mother.
“There was never a feeling of judgement during the appointment,” says Jess. “I felt fully accepted and listened to.”
Dr. Herman scheduled a bilateral salpingectomy, which is the removal of both of Jess’ fallopian tubes. Without fallopian tubes, the sperm and egg have no place to meet for fertilization and possible pregnancy. Dr. Herman went through every detail of the surgery, noting that it was a permanent form of sterilization, and stopping throughout the conversation to answer any questions Jess had.
Undergoing sterilization through laparoscopic surgery
At the end of November 2022, Jess underwent the bilateral salpingectomy. The surgery was laparoscopic, using small incisions and a camera to guide Dr. Herman in accessing and removing the fallopian tubes.
“The surgery was so simple,” says Jess. “I went in, got ready, went to sleep, woke up and it was done!”
Jess had very little pain during recovery, and the small incisions healed within a couple of weeks. She felt no regret after the surgery, finding safety and relief in the knowledge she could no longer have an unwanted pregnancy.
Jess’ advice for others considering a bilateral salpingectomy
Jess was troubled when she would hear people say that women who didn’t want kids were selfish, or that they wouldn’t be a “real woman” until they had children.
“It’s degrading and untrue,” says Jess. “It’s OK to feel like you don’t want kids; it’s normal!”
She was even more bothered to hear that some doctors refused to provide sterilization surgery to women just because they didn’t already have children, weren’t married or the doctor felt they were too young for such a big decision. Jess feels that she was lucky to only have to visit one clinic in order to receive her sterilization surgery. She knows not everyone will have it that easy.
“Don’t let having to ask multiple providers be a deterrent for you,” says Jess. “If it’s the right choice for you, fight for it!”